Ahlheizer

in my english class we have to write a 750-1000 word story.Here is what i got so far and please tell me what you think so far.

Ahlheizer

An indiscreet location somewhere in Germany…

Lightning flashed, revealing the scene that was taking place before him. For a mere second, blinking from the sudden light that filled his eyes, Hussagen watched with horror as the armed cops did their work. Flashlight beams danced upon the ground and walls of the buildings around them. He heard the clinking of keys and the locking of cuffs. Each yell was awful to Hussagen, as they kept reminding him of what was happening to his leader. There was a brief sound of a car door closing and a car revving up. Headlights flashed on revealing the location of the vehicle.

Hussagen quickly made his way to the blindspot of the car and climbed onto the bumper. If they were taking his leader somewhere, then he would be sure to follow. Hussagen struggled to hold on to the bumper. The pounding rain wasn't helping and his hands were beggining to tire. The car drove for what seemed like hours when it finally came to a stop. The cops got out of the car shoving his leader along with them. The police made their way to a huge armored building. The building looked like a medieval castle except that it was made of steel instead of stone. The building was lined with cameras and automated turrets.

Hussagen watched as the police dissapeared into the complex, came out withought his leader, and drive away. He would have to wait for the right moment to break into the complex. He eyed the patterned rotations of the cameras and turrets. Fumbling, he searched for his "Freez Frame". The "Freez Frame" was a special gadget designed to make a camera or turret freeze in place, but with the image still recording. He patiently waited for the camera to turn away from his direction. The moment it was turned away he fired his "Freez Frame". The camera stuck facing away from him. He did the same for all the cameras and turrets in the vincinity.

Now undetected, Hussagen made his way to the door of the complex. A small plaque nailed to the wall indicated that he was at Ahlheizer Prison.

"A prison, huh... that explains all the heavy security."He muttered. There was no time for optic cables here and besides, the door was too tight. Luckily, the guard had been careless and left the door unlocked, but just this once. He knew the guard would not make the same mistake twice.

hummmm, what the guy (Hussagen) is? a py? spec ops? splinter cell like? this is in this time? (2000~2006) or realistic future? (2020~2040)? specify…

I don’t have time to read it right now, but might I suggest a different name ? THe current one sounds a lot like Alzheimer’s. In fact, I thought that’s what you were starting a topic about and just horribly mispelt it at first.

i think is more like “eirgheiz”. that action/RPG game made by square, remember, it was horrible… XD

lolz same here.

Also, that’s not a story. That’s like… a segment of a piece of a story. It has no middle or end… just a beginning.

well, i finished it yesterday and i will post the story later. also, an early merry christmas to you all!

you too man, merry christmas to everyone!

speaking of which, somebody needs to make a christmas topic…

peraphs i will open the christmas topic, but i am lazy right now…

back on topic, post the story, i want to read the rest…

Lol, I’m German. It’s “Ehrgeiz”.

YA! i was about to correct him but…meh ya beat me to it

i was lazy to search the net XD thx for the correction…