Metroid:working title(again)

Im working on a metroid game while taking a break fro SB2D to practice some spriting skills…
STORY
Samus crash landed on a robot factory planet…
A group of scientists found samus and remade her adding deadly weapons…
Untill one day a mysterious character appeared…
All humans escaped and samus self-unfroze…
Finding a experiment crature samus will have a new quest to get the planet
in peace again…

Features:
New Beams
New Suit:

New ship
Monsters
A whole Planet
And more…

What do u people think?

First, Samus is a girl. Remember that if you don’t want to be flamed to hell.

Second, elaborate a bit on the story. It sounds decent, but a little more substance goes a long way.

my bad
and what should I do to the story?

Why was Samus near this robot factory planet?
What did this mysterious character do to make the humans flee, and how did the humans accomplish their escape?
During all this, what took place to restore Samus’ suit’s power?
What happened to make the planet chaotic?

Those are a few things you could add based on the story you provided alone :wink:

well as I said he crash landed to the planet…
the mystery character was destroying the planet with his army
the scientists remade the suit
(i know this makes no sense but it wil soon)

UPDATE…
U can ride your ship…a weird turtle…and a few others
a shit load of robots,cyborgs,pirates…
destroy planets(OH yeah)
dig underground…
transform into viruses and hack robots
kraid,ridley,motherbrain are some bosses…
shoot friends…

So how are the pirates involved? Why is the guardian of Zebes rebuilt and on another planet? WHY do half of these features and plot events exist?

Sounds to me like you’re just trying to cram as much random stuff you like in as possible with no rhyme or reason.

couldn’t of said it better myself, no offense (to unknown 555).

Some questions.
If the robots were made by the scientists why are they trying to destroy samus?
Kraid and Ridley have already been killed a bunch of times so why are they being re-resurected?
Where do the pirates fit in all this?
Lastly why would you shoot friends?

Dig underground? Ride turtles? Destroy planets? What are you on?! >_>

If the robots were made by the scientists why are they trying to destroy samus?
ANSWER=Got a virus
Kraid and Ridley have already been killed a bunch of times so why are they being re-resurected?
ANSWER=the scientist made them from cells they found
Where do the pirates fit in all this?
ANSWER=they had to obey the mysterious characyer becouse hes too powerful
Lastly why would you shoot friends
ANSWER=ITS FUN

Uhm… Viruses aren’t nearly powerful enough to turn robots against Samus… It would require someone to manually reprogram them, which would take almost as long as it took to make them in the first place.
And don’t say that the mysterious character is responsible for that, because that’s just obvious and stupid.

And for bosses, please don’t re-resirrect Kraid and Ridley. At least come up with something new… And especially don’t use Mother Brain. :unamused:

Edit: No transforming into viruses either… That’s just nonsensical.

Seriously, where are you going with this? None of it makes any sense.

Just do what I do troid: Nod and smile. Then, after a couple of weeks when this dies off, you can just point and laugh at it’s ridiculousness. :stuck_out_tongue:

lmao rotf. This is great. I think we need more of this stuff. HEY GUYS! THIS DUDE KNOWS HOW TO FLIPPIN FANGAME! SWEET! AWESOME! TEH LEETNESS!
(/stupidity)

Oh and to whoever made this retarded topic :: Please try to spell correctly and write proper and full sentences. If its one thing I cant stand …

Stop makin fun of the guy honestly, you guys dont need to be so mean, respect the guys work and see if it turns out to be good, dont judge a book from its cover.

exactly, this could end up to be a good fan game, you guys dont know that…

I’m just asking him how all this stuff fits in the storyline…

…/…
./||.
…||…
…||…
…||…
…||…
…/…
.|/|.
.|/|.

DUMASS FAGGOT
STFU NOOB!!!

Ok, now your being as bad as them, no ofense, just STOP, honestlee dont insult people for insulting you just ask the questions such as : why are you saying this to me do not judge me and insult me for my work. Now im just giving advice, I hate when people do that, just kidding. any way what im trying to say is dont insult people.

If you guys dont like unknowncity555’s work
then dont post here okay?